My Favorite What If Read online

  Well, that makes sense although I was hoping she was asking me to play as an excuse to talk to me again. I turn my attention back to Sloan, who delicately arches her body, sending the ball across the net. Will is barely able to get his fingertips on it before he knocks it out of bounds. Watching her serve is a complete turn-on, not that she didn’t already do that to me before, but this just seals the deal. Whoa, what deal?

  Caroline wasn’t a big sports fan, much less an athlete. She tried though, watching Sportscenter every night with me, but I could tell she was never into it. Sloan serves five points and then purposely hits the net so the other team has a chance. She moves into position next to me and I ask, “Hey, what’s your favorite sports teams?”

  “Cardinals, of course, and Broncos for football,” she answers, glancing at me and back to the other side of the net. My grin grows wider at her answer, her perfect answer.

  The score is now 19-16, us. The game has been intense with all the men and Sloan trying not to give up a point. Sissy and Elaina don’t care about the score, they squeal every time the ball comes toward them. Sloan’s long hair flies behind her, pinned back with only a couple of bobby pins. It’s been hard to focus on the game, but I don’t want to embarrass myself so I’ve been forcing myself to do my best.

  Gavin serves an ace and it’s match point. The ball flies over the net and Will easily returns it. Sloan dives for the ball, digging it before it hits the ground, and Gavin spikes it over the net where it lands between Elaina and Roger for game point.

  I reach out and catch Sloan in my arms before she falls into the sand. Her body is slick with sweat and gritty from the sand. Still, I don’t want to let go of her. One hand on her back, the other on her stomach, I stare into her eyes. Sloan’s eyes twinkle and she bites her bottom lip. God, this woman!

  “Please don’t kiss my sister in front of me again,” Gavin complains behind us.

  Sloan giggles and I help her stand upright, not letting go of her just yet. I don’t take my eyes off Sloan when I answer Gavin. “I can’t promise I won’t kiss her again, but I’ll try not to do it in front of you.” Where the hell is this coming from? This is not the normal Smitty. No, it’s the Smitty I was before I lost Caroline.

  Sloan licks her lips and nods. “Sounds like a deal to me.”

  On the other side of the net, the losing team is dispersing. I take Sloan’s hand and nod toward the pool. “What do you say we grab a drink?” When the words come out, I realize the cotton mouth feeling hasn’t gone away since I woke up.

  She squeezes my hand. “Perfect. We’re doing a glass bottom boat tour this afternoon if you want to join us. We’re trying to get in as much Talbott time before Will’s family arrives tomorrow.”

  I want to say yes, so I can spend more time with her, but I don’t want to encroach. I take my ball cap off and wipe my forehead with my arm. “Well, I’m not really family.”

  Sloan shrugs. “Fine, leave me to me to fend off the crazies on my own if you want,” she says and elbows me playfully.

  I stop and pull her to me, my hands move up and down her arms. “Well, if I’m helping you out…”

  I lean down toward her face and she draws in her bottom lip. Slowly, she moves her head up and down. “Definitely helping…”

  My right hand slides over her shoulder to her neck and my thumb moves along her jaw line. “In that case, I’d love to go.” I pause and swallow. “I’m going to kiss you now. Is your brother watching?”

  Breaking the intensity of the moment, Sloan giggles and shakes her head. Softly, I mutter, “Good.” Then I pull her body against mine and her arms slide around my neck. Her luscious breasts press against my bare chest and I need more of her. My hands move down her back and over her swimsuit, pulling her even closer. A soft hum comes from Sloan and her tongue vibrates against mine. All the blood in my body rushes between my legs and I know I’m in trouble if I don’t stop this kiss soon.

  “Mmm, that was even better than last night,” Sloan comments, her arms still around me.

  I give her another soft kiss, not nearly as long or intense. I do it because of my attraction to her, but deep inside, I think part of me wants the familiarity of being comfortable with a woman. I shake my head, trying to rid my thoughts that I’m using Sloan to replace Caroline. Maybe in some way I am, but I don’t want to be that guy. More importantly, I don’t want Sloan to be that girl.

  “I just hope you remember this one,” she says and pulls away from me laughing. I shake my head and chase after her. Note to self, no more getting shitfaced while in paradise.

  Sloan

  A warm breeze blows through the trees where our hammock is hanging. Lying opposite each other, our bellies full from lunch, Smitty rubs my feet. It’s safe to assume he’s not taken and from the few interactions I’ve had with him, it’s obvious that he likes to take care of his woman. Not that I’m his woman! Relax, Sloan, enjoy his company and don’t make more of it than it really is.

  Our legs are intertwined and we are both so… comfortable. While he’s massaging my feet, my hand is lazily sliding up and down his calf. I’m not sure why, or even if I should, but I’ve let my guard down with Smitty. I’ve missed the companionship with a man, it’s been so long since I’ve given up on the opposite sex. Maybe it’s because I’ll probably never see him again, so I’m just enjoying him while I can.

  “So your brother tells me you played volleyball at KU. What’d you major in?” Smitty asks as his thumbs massage the soles of my feet.

  “Exercise science. After I graduated, I worked for a few corporate places, but the big businesses weren’t for me. A few years ago, I started my own boot camp and healthy coaching program in the St. Louis area and it took off right away. Now, I have some wonderful instructors who do most of the teaching, which frees me up to travel and start other locations worldwide.”

  Smitty’s hands stop and he gives me an approving nod “That’s impressive. I like a woman who’s a go-getter.”

  My heart races at his approval, not that I’ve ever needed anyone’s before. For some reason though, it makes me a bit giddy that Smitty is impressed.

  He lifts an eyebrow. “A few years ago? So you’re what, twenty-five?”

  I laugh and shake my head. “Aren’t you sweet? I’ll be thirty in September. I graduated when I was twenty-three, worked corporate until I was twenty-five then took a year off before I got back into things.”

  “What’d you do with your year off?”

  Oh no, why’d I say that? My stomach drops and I try not to tense up. I shrug and answer nonchalantly, “Learned about life.” It’s my go-to generic answer without having to lie. Before he can dig deeper, I ask, “What about you, Smitty? What’d you do after high school?”

  “Tech school for a couple years and then I started my own construction company.”

  I squeeze his leg and smile. “Well aren’t we quite the pair of entrepreneurs?”

  He laughs. “I guess so.”

  Smitty’s smile and laughter has been rare since I’ve met him so even the small chuckle of his makes my grin wider. “You’ve seen my crazy family, what about yours? Are they anything like that?”

  His fingers knead deeper. “My parents are Jack and Diane and yes, that’s really their names.”

  I giggle. “I love that song!”

  He laughs again and my stomach flutters. “Then I have an older brother, Jack Junior who goes by JJ. He’s married with kids, still lives in St. Charles almost next door to my parents. I live pretty close as well so we all see each other pretty often.”

  “That’s nice. We’re all in the St. Louis area, but pretty spread out. My parents are in Ladue, Gavin in Kirkwood, Sissy and Will in Wentzville, and I’m in Soulard. We still get together every Sunday for dinner at my parents’.”

  Smitty lifts his gaze until it finds my eyes. “Maybe sometime you could show me around Soulard, I’ve never really hung out there.”

  My stomach drops. No, no, no. I let my guard down be
cause this is supposed to be this week only, nothing more.

  “Sloan! Come on!” I hear my father call to me. I look over and see him and the rest of my gang walking toward the hut where the boat tour will depart.

  Sitting up slowly, I reach out and take Smitty’s hand to help him up. Moving our feet on either side of the hammock, he leans into me and kisses me softly. Mmm… His hand grips my neck and my hands move to his thighs. Easy there, Sloan, calm down!

  Smitty breaks the kiss first and we both stand. As we walk toward the boat, he reaches over and takes my hand then looks at me. “Is this okay?”

  I glance down at our hands, my heart pounding. I nod and swallow the lump in my throat. “Of course…hey, your shoulders are pretty red. I’ll put some sunscreen on when we get to the boat.”

  He nods and kisses my cheek. “Thanks.”

  My stomach knots. My God, what is this man doing to me?

  As we board the boat, my family tries not to be obvious with their stares, but they aren’t doing a good job. Smitty squeezes my hand and when we sit down, he leans to me and asks, “Are you sure it’s okay that I come?”

  I glance over at my siblings and parents who haven’t taken their eyes off us. Instead of answering him, I press my lips against his, sliding my tongue inside his mouth and pulling his head closer to me. Smitty doesn’t miss a beat as his fingers skim up and down my ribcage and I can feel my swimsuit getting damp. Well, this plan backfired, didn’t it?

  I pull away smiling. “It’s absolutely fine that you’re here. Isn’t it, family?”

  I pull my gaze away from Smitty, who is sitting in front of me almost licking his lips wanting more. My family looks like their eyes are all about to bug out of their heads and when I look at them, they all quickly nod and comment, “Oh yeah…Totally fine…Glad to have ya, Smitty…”

  Smitty moves his arm around my shoulder as the boat takes off. The water is a pristine blue and crystal clear. My family starts to relax and I snuggle against Smitty as we all watch the glass bottom of the boat, seeing sea life, coral, and the rest of the ocean floor. It’s the perfect, relaxing afternoon compared to our intense volleyball game this morning.

  “This here is a puffer fish and beside him is…” our captain tells us and I feel Smitty move his arm off my shoulder. When I look up at him, he’s already up and walking toward the back of the boat.

  I walk behind him, placing my hand on his back. “Smit, you okay?” I ask, genuinely worried.

  No sooner than the words are out of my mouth, he grabs a bucket and begins to lose his lunch. I look away, but continue rubbing his back. My mother, the mama bear that she is, stands up to come inspect for herself, but I hold my hand up to keep her at bay.

  Smitty begin mumbling apologies in between bursts of puking. I start to massage his shoulders and see how red his shoulders are. Oh no, I never put that sunscreen on! The sun, mixed with the alcohol left in his system from last night along with our volleyball workout this morning and this is looking pretty bad.

  “Smitty, have you been drinking water?” I ask as I grab a towel from Sissy’s bag and dip it in the water. I put it on his shoulders, trying to cool him off.

  His answer is inaudible and the sun poisoning is already working its tricks on him. Moving quickly, I grab two bottles of water and help him sit back down. I squat between his legs as I open the first bottle.

  “Here, Smitty, try to sip this.” I hand it to him, but he can hardly hold it. My mother sits beside him and brings the bottle to his lips. I take the other water and slowly pour it over his neck, trying to cool him down. Smitty is swaying back and forth and I need to get him back to his room so he can rest.

  Behind me, Gavin is muttering, “You really know how to pick winners, Lo.”

  I grit my teeth but don’t have a chance to respond to him. Sissy hisses at him. “Shut up, Gavin. This is the first man she’s shown interest in since Cooper, so leave her alone.”

  Gavin doesn’t back down. “Exactly and her choice is awful.”

  My mother speaks without turning her attention away from Smitty. “Both of you stop. If you can’t see that this man is hurting, then you’re blind. Let your sister do what she wants and if she needs your help, she’ll let you know.” My mother’s words are insinuating much more than just the sun poisoning.

  Both my siblings stop talking and my cheeks flush red. “Mom, it’s not like that—”

  The captain docks the boat and my mom looks at me. “Sloan, you’re a grown woman. You have needs that you’ve suppressed for much too long. This young man is obviously heartbroken. You two need to enjoy each other’s company for the week before you both have to face reality again when this trip is over.”

  I hear Sissy, Will, and Gavin trying not to laugh and my cheeks blaze now. Shaking my head, I move my body under Smitty’s arm and try to help him stand. The man is almost twice my size and I’m struggling to hold him up.

  “Son, help your sister,” my father orders Gavin. He’s been silent this whole time. I’ve always been Daddy’s little girl. He’s supported me in everything I’ve ever done. He never missed a single volleyball game in my entire career. So the fact that he’s being eerily quiet about this whole situation has me concerned.

  I can tell when Gavin moves under Smitty’s other arm because the weight is released off my shoulder. Stepping off the boat and onto the sand, my mother hands me a bottle of aloe vera from her beach bag.

  “Give him a cold shower, dry him off well, and then put this on. Also, lots of water,” she informs me.

  I glance at my brother as we walk toward Smitty’s hotel room. “Did Mom just tell me to give a guy I just met a shower?”

  Gavin grunts. “Sounded like it to me.”

  “What’s your problem, Gav?”

  He stops and turns to me. “What’s my problem? Sloan, it’s been almost five years since—”

  “I know how long it’s been, Gavin. I’m not marrying him. I’m not even having sex with him. We’re just flirting and having fun. If I do end up sleeping with him, what’s the big deal?”

  “Lo, don’t talk to me about your sex life.”

  We’re standing outside Smitty’s door when I realize we don’t have his room key. I slip out from under his shoulder. Patting the side of his swim trunks, I find the key in his pocket. Quickly, I let us inside and Gavin walks him in the room.

  “Where do you want him?” Gavin asks and I point to the bathroom. Gavin’s eyes get wide and he begins to object, “I am NOT taking a shower with him.”

  I throw up my hands. “Of course not! Help me get him in the shower and then stick around to help me get him out.”

  Gavin narrows his eyes. “Sloan, I do not—”

  I roll my eyes. “Stop being dramatic. We’re both in our swimsuits, now come on.”

  Muttering under his breath, Gavin and I get Smitty in the shower. I step in after him, letting Smitty lean against me. Gavin turns the water on the coldest setting and I gasp as it hits my skin. My brother grins and I shake my head. He leaves the bathroom and I hear the television turn on.

  After a while, my body gets used to the frigid water. My hands move up and down Smitty’s back and I whisper in his ear, “Hey Smitty, you cooling off?”

  His hands grab my butt and he mumbles something incoherently. Shocked, I lean back and look at him. Not that I don’t want him to touch me, but if he didn’t remember last night, there’s no way he’s going to recall any of this.

  His hands move to my neck and he looks in my eyes. “Caroline, why are you so good to me?”

  I shift uncomfortably, not quite sure how to answer. I reach around him and turn off the water. Pulling back the curtain, I grab a towel and start to pat the water off his body. The T.V. goes off and Gavin knocks on the door.

  “Lo, you need help?” he calls from the other side.

  Smitty is standing on his own, but his eyes are stilled glazed over. I take his chin in my fingers. “Can you stand on your own?”

  I
n answer, Smitty steps out of the shower and leans over the counter. I touch his back lightly. “Are you okay? Think you’re going to get sick again?”

  Smitty shakes his head. I stick my head out the door and almost hit Gavin. “Sorry,” I mumble. “Can you get me a bottled water and then we should be fine.”

  Relieved he’s off duty, Gavin hands me the water and leaves. When I turn back to Smitty, he’s brushing his teeth. I walk back over to him, leaving the bathroom door open. I continue to dry off his back and then hand him the water. “Here, drink this,” I say softly and he nods, doing as I command.

  I kiss his shoulder blade, knowing his skin has to be on fire. He looks like a lobster and when he comes to, he’s going to hurt like hell. Squeezing the aloe vera in my hand, I warn him that it might be cold. He cringes slightly as I spread it over his back. My hands move over the slopes of the muscles in his back. Even after it’s all rubbed in, my hands continue to roam, wanting to explore his body more.

  “Turn around,” I say, barely able to get the words out. My heart is racing and I’m embarrassed to say I’m turned on.

  Smitty slowly turns and leans back against the counter, tilting his head up toward the ceiling. My hands begin their work on his torso. Taking my time, I work my way across his tight pecs and his six-pack abs. I feel slightly guilty when my thumbs rub over his nipples. I don’t know about him, but it electrifies my body when I do this to him. Scared, and just as much surprised at this feeling, I quickly pull away.

  “Ugh, I feel like shit,” Smitty mutters and I smile, relieved that he’s finally making sense.

  I kiss his cheek and take his hand. “Come on, you need to rest.”

  We walk out to the bed, his room is set up the same way mine is. I turn my back to look in his suitcase for a pair of shorts. When I turn back around, I see his bare ass, a mighty fine bare ass, as he crawls into bed. I laugh and walk over to him.